Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
