I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
