We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
