@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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