about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize