She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
