I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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