I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
