Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
