Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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