its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
