Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
