It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
