Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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