How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
