Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
