There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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