Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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