before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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