dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
