try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
