Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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