question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
