Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
