Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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