Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
