that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
