you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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