i can't believe i had my finger in that
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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