Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
