so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
