I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
