Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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