Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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