Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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