So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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