you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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