Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
