A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
