her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
