Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
