That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
