i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
