coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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