Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
