You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
