i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
