You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She announced her abortion via fbk
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
