Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
