You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
