If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
