Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
