I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
