I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
