She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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