at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
