Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
