I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
