idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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