Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize