I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
