dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
