i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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