Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
