OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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