I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
