i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
