I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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