Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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