On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
