I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
