im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
