Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
