I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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